Tag Archives: dating

My blind date….. a non starter

So, it’s been a month since I’ve taken a break from the online dating world. To tell you the truth, it’s been quite nice not having to deal with all the drama. But, I’m never going to find anyone just going to work, sleeping, looking after my boys and watching Netflix marathons whilst sitting on the couch in my pyjamas.  

So when a mate of mine asked if I’d go in a blind date with a guy he knew, I thought “What the hell?” “What have I got to lose?” So I cautiously said he could pass on my phone number, but to let him know that I don’t take kindly to phone calls in the middle of the day whilst I was sleeping, that text was best.

I thought that I’d wake up to a message on my phone…… no message.

I thought he might message that night…… no message.

Maybe he’d message the next day…… no message.
The next day, when I’d given up hope, I received a message via Facebook messenger. He apologised for not messaging sooner, but he’d accidentally deleted my number. I took him at his word, as I do that sort of thing all the time.

But then, seeing as he messaged me via Facebook, I visited his page. I mean, what did he expect? Let me paint a picture of his Profile photo. He was a middle age, fairly largish, Italian, heavily tattooed guy, with a moustache and a flavour saver goatee thingy. Now don’t get me wrong, I really don’t care what someone looks like, it’s their personality that either wins me over or gets me walking away. However it was the much younger Asian girl on his arm that had me questioning his motives. That and his relationship status saying he was in a relationship with this young thing may also have given it away.

So I messaged him back, saying that I wasn’t the type of girl, that would see a guy that was already in a relationship. He then did the whole denial thing. Denied being in a relationship, saying that he’d broken up with her and hadn’t gotten around to updating his Facebook page.

Did he think I was that gullible? Did he think that me, being of the female species, was going to just let that go and not investigate further? That I was going to take him at his word? I mean, come on! Us women are renowned for our investigative AKA stalking skills. Give us a name and we could find out what you’ve had for breakfast!

So back to the Facebook page I went, for a closer inspection. The profile photo that had been posted, had been uploaded the day before. So if he had broken up with her, it must have been that morning. Obviously he was really torn up about the recent split.

So of course, I went to the apparent ex girlfriends page. She had a photo of the two of them together posted on the that day, and he’d commented on he photo saying “my princess” 

And THAT wasn’t the pièce de résistance, the highlight of my search, was when I found a post that she had posted on Mother’s Day, just one week before, stating she couldn’t wait to start trying for a baby! Of course he replied….”very soon”

WTF???? What the actual fuck? Such a class act. He’d told my mate he was single and asked if my mate knew any single chicks, all the while he was telling his young girlfriend that they would start trying for a baby soon??? Is it just me? Am I the only one that finds this unacceptable, behaviour? Not only treating this poor, young and very much better looking than him, girl in such a terrible way, but he thought I’d fall for his lies. Thought I was gullible enough to take him at his word. Thought that I was that I was so unintelligent that I would add 1+1 and come up with 27!

Honestly, do I only attract douchebags? I suppose I can be thankful that he was stupid enough to message me via Facebook. And no actual date eventuated. Thank God for small mercies!

Online dating. Part 3 

Part 3…….take a seat ladies and gentleman, it’s been a bumpy ride this last month, so strap in and I’ll take you on a journey that will blow (or permanently damage) your minds!! 

This blog is bluntly honest and I may be accused of over sharing.  So  if you’re prudish, or are members of my family, or just don’t want to hear about my dating/sex life. Look away now….. abort. I repeat, ABORT! This mission is too dangerous, you may never get these visions out of your head!
So, last time I blogged, I had been on a few dates with a certain 50 year old gentleman, well…..at least I thought he was a gentleman. 

Well after a week I found out he was a toddler in a man suit. This blog is primarily dedicated to him. 

I’d never witnessed a grown man having a temper tantrum, but can now tick that off the bucket list. And what may you ask, was the trigger for said tantrum?? From the first date, he had reiterated time and time again, that he wanted a relationship….

Well, I’ll let you use your imagination, let’s just say things got intimate, I won’t go into details, but it was good. He then began messaging at all hours of the day and night. Now I’m sure most of you know what sexting is, some of you may have participated, it can be fun, but this not so gentlemanly man, took it to extremes. No leading into it, no shall we say foreplay. 
This had all developed over a week, a week that I was working and I was coming up for days off. Two glorious days where I don’t have kids or work. Two days a fortnight, that’s it. So on these days off, I had planned on going on a date with this man child. 
When I asked him if he was free either of those days, he said he was busy. Not a drama, I’d plan to catch up with other friends. I asked him one more time, as I actually wanted to get to know the guy, he said he couldn’t and maybe I should go back on that dating site and find someone else!!! What the actual Fuck??? When I asked him why he reacted that way, he replied that he had seen me online. Well, it escalated quickly from there…..
Firstly- I explained that a few guys had messaged me, and I messaged them back that I was dating someone at the moment….. well maybe not in those words.
Secondly- if he knew I was on the dating site, so was he!

It deteriorated from there. Texting back and forth, I tried to take the high road…… but I’ll let you decide.

After that disastrous week of dating, I tried to brush it off like toast crumbs. But like most things in my life, you think you’ve got them all off, but later on you find a few that  you have got some stuck in your bra.

 Even though you try and be discreet, you end up having to stick your whole hand down your top to retrieve them.

 So I tried not to be hurt, booked in another date on one of my days off. The date went well, great to talk to, funny, excellent taste in music. I had a a great night…. but, (of course there’s a but) it was only going to be a hookup, I knew from the invite to his house, but it was what I needed. To completely forget the tantrum, I went and did exactly what I had been accused of, but had been innocent of, until then. 

Then a few days later…… more texts from the man child. 

I may have led him to believe I was contemplating it….. but 4am???

Then this response, when I regretfully couldn’t make it. 

I continued to get texts explicitly depicting what he wanted me to do almost every day for two weeks. I ignored them all, then ended up blocking him. He then called me from a different phone number and left a message. 

After that night, I decided I needed a break from this whole online dating business. I went to delete my account and low and behold, I had new matches. What’s the harm?? Have a look, see what the online wizards have matched me with. One guy stood out. Take a chance I thought. What’s going to happen??
Well….. I’ll leave you on that cliff hanger. Way more to tell. But I don’t want to do any irrevocable damage to your brains. 

The World of Online Dating

Online dating…..It’s the new and almost only way to meet someone when you’re nearing 40, and as a single parent, work unsociable hours on a full-time basis. Now I’m no expert, but after a year of trying to navigate my way through the online dating world I’ve given up. I have some friends that say you’ve got to keep trying and others that think I’ve done amazingly well lasting as long as I had done. But I’ve had enough, if the right guy is out there waiting, I’m not going to find him on the plethora of sites and apps that are out there.

Now I’m sure I’m not the only one, I’m decent enough catch. Sure, I’m no Megan Fox, but I’m a well-educated woman, with a job,  my own house and car, I don’t use drugs and I’m fairly liberal minded. So why is it,  that only get messages from guys wanting a one night stand, guys over the age of 55 or guys that I’m sure are serial killers? How many dick pics does one have to endure before you find true love? I mean really? Is that what the modern woman wants to see? Am I alone, or am I the only one out there that actually wants to get to know someone before I see their genitals?

I’m not looking for Mr perfect, a runway model who earns a billion dollars. I just want a normal guy, that wants to spend time with another adult, who has a job and on their spare time wants to catch up, go out for dinner and if it all works out, go on holidays etc. As my boys are getting older, I don’t have to spend all my time caring for them, I can go out, do something for myself….. occasionally. There will be a point that they won’t need me anymore. Is there any men in the same boat? Surely there is, but alas, they don’t contact me. I’m not looking for marriage, or to move in together, I don’t want to be a ball and chain. I’ve done that, and for me, it wasn’t he happiest arrangement.

I have been on a few dates, they survived my screening process of being within 10 years of my age, can converse easily, (can string a sentence together), doesn’t smoke and doesn’t send me a dick pic. Those few that managed to get to the date stage, have been memorable experiences.

One, I went to the movies and the poor guy was very nervous and awkward. His leg twitched the entire movie, making it almost impossible to concentrate on the movie. The coffee afterwards was just as uncomfortable, he couldn’t make eye contact and most of the conversation was around his cats. Needless to say, I thanked him for the date, paid my way and exited quietly stage left.

Another date, we met at the casino, we had been chatting for a few weeks and had spoken on the phone. I thought we got along well. We met at the casino, we chatted like we’d been friends for years, I thought it went swimmingly. The time flew by, after nearly 6 hours he put me in my cab to go home. He messaged me on my trip home to tell me that I wasn’t what he was looking for. I was at a loss, to this day I don’t know what he was looking for.

My most memorable experience was when I started chatting to this FIFO worker. When I first saw his picture, I thought… NO WAY! He looked like Tony Soprano and he was a smoker. We had nothing in common….. but he could chat. He messaged me one morning and I had just finished work. Talking to him was so easy, he could make me laugh and we had more in common than I previously thought. He was looking for someone to share his life with, Nearly grownup kids, worked shift work, own house etc etc. Our first date went well, no awkward silences and he played the gentleman. After a few weeks we were chatting every day and catching up when we could. I liked him, things were gong well…. or so I thought. I thought things were going well, I knew he wasn’t the boyfriend type and didn’t like be introduced as such. That should have been a red flag, But once again, I’m fairly naive. I met all his friends and family. I thought this might be it. After spending 8 years on my own, I wasn’t any more.

Then came the chat….the one we all dread. (It came on the worst possible day, I’d just been given some bad news about my health and I was going to his for dinner). It the chat where they say … ” it’s not you it’s me”…. “I’m not looking for a relationship”…..”I hope we can still be friends”

For fuck sake!!!  If you’re not looking for relationship why the fuck are you on a dating site????? I can not understand it and never will.  I didn’t let it deter me, I went back on the site for a few months, back to the dick pics and messages from serial killers, who want to marry me after  one night of texts. So I’m done. Done with the fake profiles of people professing to want to find love. Done with the guys just wanting a root and done with the dick pics.

On a positive note, I’m still friends with the guys that’s not looking for a relationship. He’s actually my best friend. Heavens knows why, he’s a dick, he’s still on the dating site, going on dates. But, he makes me laugh, he never judges and he knows me better than anyone. Not what I was looking for, but better than what I had.