As a midwife and nurse in a women’s hospital, I see a lot of different people in a lot of different situations. I’ve learnt a few things along the way.
Here’s just a couple of things I’d like ALL women and their partners to know. Some are just plain common sense, others, well, I’ll let you decide.
In the emergency department-
Please don’t….leave coming to the hospital till the last minute. If you’re not that sick, see your GP. If you’re really unwell, don’t wait until you’re on deaths door. Present early. If possible come in daylight hours. More staff, more doctors, more theatre availability, in a word …. MORE access to everything.
Please don’t….bring all your family in. I know they are all worried, but having them sitting in the waiting room doesn’t help. They are stressed, and you’ll worry about them. You should be focussed on getting better, not concerned with everyone else waiting outside.
Please don’t….leave your medication at home. If you need it at home, you’ll need it in hospital. Being a women’s hospital we don’t always stock every mood stabiliser or antihypertensive available. It would be good if we did, but we don’t. We don’t want you missing essential medication, so please bring it with you.
Now this is where things leave the realm of common sense….
When in the delivery suite-
Please don’t….treat your delivery room like your private boudoir. Its a delivery room, in a hospital. 99.9% of families treat it as such. But a very small portion, don’t. It is expected, that at some time during your child’s birth that we’ll see your vagina. That doesn’t mean we need or want to see your partner in various states of undress. I know a few midwives who have unknowingly walked in on partners, taking advantage of their wives being scantily clad…. not on people, NOT on!
My last, and maybe most important recommendation when at home, is as follows-
Please don’t….insert anything into your vagina, that was not made for that specific purpose. Ladies, it may sound like a good idea at the time, in the heat of the moment, but believe me, it’s not. Just take a moment and ask yourself “would I feel comfortable explaining to a health professional how that got stuck up there” If the answer is no, do not proceed. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Vegetables are a no-no, as are deodorant cans, shampoo bottles and dare I say it….snooker balls. Yes, you heard correctly….snooker balls, plural.
And if for some strange reason you didn’t heed my advice, please make sure you bring in your partner, they deserve the walk of shame as much as you do.
I hope these little snippets of advice, might prevent unnecessary visits or….unnecessary embarrassment to you amazing women out there. xx